Once in a Lifetime
by elriclover07
Summary: It is a darkish story, if I do say so myself. Please read and Review! T just to be safe.


**Yay drabbles!! Okay, here's how this is going to work: I am going to write drabbles about FMA and post them as separate chapters. Some will be Parental!. Others will be EdWin or just plain stories, unless I get suggestions which are greatly appreciated!! ****So here's my first drabble, sorry for its darkness!**

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_Once in a lifetime_

"Once in a lifetime; what does it really mean? Most would say it means you can't redo it; it will only occur once in your lifetime. But can someone with enough power change that? It seems illogical, but not really; if you just use alchemy…" That's what I told brother before he tried to relive the past. He tried but sadly he failed. This is the story of my miserable life without my brother.

I am Alphonse Elric. I am 15 years old. I had a brother up until about 2 years ago. He tried to relive the past, and failed. He wanted to relive the golden days with mom. He broke alchemy's biggest taboo: human transmutation.

The whole concept behind alchemy is equivalency. "To gain, something of equal value must be lost. This is alchemy's first law, of equivalent exchange." You have no idea how many times I told brother that. He just didn't get the whole "Equal trade concept". He was stubborn and wanted mom back so badly that he would do anything. He was possessed by the demon; the demon of desire.

He wanted what he could never have, and just the concept of alchemy and possibly bringing his mom back got his hopes way too high. He missed mom more than I did. He never really admitted it, but I knew; I had read the things he wrote in his alchemy notes. He wrote things like "I miss you so much, Mom. Why did you leave us; why did you make me fall into the black abyss of depression?" Most of the things he wrote were so scary I can't even tell you. He got so into "talking" to mom through this notebook that he was bordering insanity.

I began to get really scared when he started talking in his sleep. I think he really believed that mom could hear him. I highly doubt anyone but me could hear him. This is because me and my brother were never religious. We never really believed in the whole God concept. We really only believed that alchemy would protect us. It's not that we hated people who believed in god, because that was far from the truth. Actually, we had strong connections to people who were religious. We just didn't partake in such "nonsense", as my Dad put it. Actually, come to think of it, he was the one who started the whole "no God" thing. No wonder brother hated him.

Brother always seemed like a person who, although he wouldn't admit it, believed in God. He always knew mom could see and hear him. That's probably why he was talking in his sleep every once in a while.

He was slowly spiraling down into a dark, dark depression. He no longer could make intelligent decisions. He made some stupid mistakes. He started hanging around "thugs" and other untrustworthy individuals. This was eventually his downfall. These people deteriorated his mind until he could no longer make the right decisions. On any normal basis he would have never dreamed of trying to even attempt a human transmutation. But this wasn't a normal basis. He had been hanging around bad people and he was exposed to who knows what illegal substances and alcohol.

He finally met his downfall. The evil demon, that is temptation, had taken him over while he was under the influence of something. He tried that transmutation and it eventually killed him. He had nothing to exchange mom's soul for; except his life, maybe. He lost his life that night. He lost the battle with want and temptation; he had succumbed to the devil.

To whomever is reading this: if you are even concerned, I have followed the path that my destiny has chosen for me. You may think this is just because of my brother's influence and the depression because of my brother's death, but I strongly believe that destiny has chosen this path for me. This path is nearly identical to my brother's. The only difference is that I have thought this over for some time now.

This is my final request: whoever is reading this, please tell Winry that Ed and I always loved her like a sister and loved her like a crush. Also, thank Pinako for her help and support. And Roy, thank him for supporting Ed throughout his depression. Riza, for being the closest thing to a mother we had, with the exception of Pinako.

All of you were wrong, some things occur only once in a lifetime, and lots of things won't happen in my ending lifetime.

Farewell,

Alphonse Elric

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**Well, this is probably the darkest thing I will ever write. Just in case you didn't get it, this is Alphonse writing a letter to whoever finds it, explaining Ed's death and his reasons for wanting to die. You could consider the end his dying wishes. I have no idea where this came from, but please review! ****Reviews make me do a happy dance that I call "the review hokey pokey"! I do this every time I get a review! I also love suggestions for stories! And if you didn't like this, I promise I will write happier things! Much happier, I Promise!! Unless someone likes the dark stories, then I will write more like this one... Ciao for now!!**


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